Spouse: "Primary Caretaker? Like I have no involvement? That would be like me telling you I'm stressed because I'm the 'breadwinner' in this house."
Me: "Well [with the exception of my couple little consulting projects], that would be sorta true. No biggie."
Spouse: "Yeah, but it's not exactly true, or politically correct, nor does it make me feel very good to hear it."
Now, I wouldn't admit this at the time, but my choice of verbiage was probably a passive aggressive way of saying that I wished he would be a little bit more hands-on with the kiddo duties in general. The way I recall the flight, K. was using me as a human jungle gym for most of the time in the air, hanging on me, pulling on my hair, whimpering, etc. while DH dozed, or read a magazine in his seat, across the aisle from us. In the moment it certainly seemed like the division was a little bit off. (Now, I know that I should probably ASK for help more often than I do... but is it wrong of me to wish that he would instinctively KNOW when to offer it?) The complication is that both DH and I know that in many cases, K. can only be comforted by his Mama... so I think DH defaults to this conclusion many times, whether it is accurate or not. In any case, the conversation turned out OK, and DH reminded me of the many things he does - despite working a 60-70 hour week - to help out with the childrearing. And it's true. And he pointed out that these were the roles we both agreed to in the beginning, etc., etc.
To be fair, his job is very demanding, just as my "job" is, albeit in a different sort of way. So, yes, fine... I'm OK with that. I think I just needed to vent - a little acknowledgement of the difficulty of child raising every once in a while would be nice, wouldn't it? I mean, it's the best thing in the world to be a parent, and I'd never give this up for anything. But it's also OK to admit that it IS. SIMPLY. EXHAUSTING.
What do you all think? Am I feeling too sorry for myself?