Monday, March 9, 2009

I've Hit Rock Bottom

So I did something that I hoped I'd never do.  I untagged myself from a photo a friend posted on Facebook.  

Why?  Because I hated the way I looked.  Specifically, the culprit was a very unflattering fat roll that made its presence known in a most forthright way.  And more generally, well, I am a vain person.  So there you have it.  I'd rather not let an unflattering photo be linked to me, and if I have the technological tools at my disposal to ensure this, you are darned tootin' that I will use them to do so.

But ever since I did (last night), I've been nagged by What It All Means.  (Do you know I have secret dreams of becoming a psychoanalyst?)  And after much tossing and turning, the verdict is (duh) quite simple...

I need to get back on the frickin' exercise wagon. 

Yes, I will admit it.  I have completely thrown in the towel where my health and wellbeing is concerned.  

I used to be a devoted Weight Watcher, but I've let my subscription lapse and I haven't actively counted food points since several months ago.  And as for regular, cardio-centric exercise, I literally cannot remember the last time I went for a run.  I dunno, I can blame a ton of things... the holidays, the cold weather, busy work projects, lack of sleep - none of which really work as excuses.  

I got a jogging stroller for my birthday last year (April), and I remember a brief stint of using it, but I think somewhere over the summer my enthusiasm for jogging with Kibi waned, largely because he was going through a phase of trying to get out of his stroller at any cost.  So I then used THAT as an excuse not to exercise, because after all, how am I ever going to fit it in while caring for a rambunctious todder?  And so on, and so forth... blahblahblah.

But, the good thing about seeing that photo last night is that it was my "rock bottom" moment. It drove me to get my act together, diet and exercise-wise, more than anything else has these last several months.  And I am now closing the deal by revealing all of this embarrassing information to all of YOU, dear readers, on my blog, as a way to add another layer of accountability.

So... I'm pleased to report that this morning, Kibi and I dusted off the ol' jogging stroller, and went for a 40 minute jaunt.  I call it a jaunt because it wasn't actually 40 minutes of jogging (Lord knows I'm too out of shape for that) but it wasn't only walking either.  (Yay, me!)  A sort of walk/jog combo.  Probably hugely embarrassing if I were to have observed myself, but I'm long past worrying about that sort of stuff.  My current plan is that I'll ease my way into it, so that eventually I am back to doing a 30 minute run at least 5 times a day.

I also immediately got back on my Weight Watchers point-collecting regimen.  Eliminating that mindless snacking is, admittedly, going to be a challenge.  I do it WAY too much anymore, and working from home most days lends itself to unfettered access to the kitchen, which is DANGEROUS.  But I'll work on that.  I'll also try not to beat myself up too much - - after all, Rome wasn't built in a day -- but at the same time, I'm posting about this topic because this time, people, I AM SERIOUS.  And you all had better hold me to this pledge of renewed health! 

My friend (an faithful reader of this blog, btw) who posted the FB photo is so kind; I sent her a note last night telling her why I untagged myself.  (I did that after much deliberation, because it was tempting to surreptitiously do it and not have to reveal my vain notions ... but after all, I DO want to be accountable.)  She said she felt bad for posting the photo, but I assured her that doing so was, in fact, a GOOD thing.  Because we all need to get that little kick in the proverbial derriere to jumpstart plans that we've been making in our heads for ages.  And I will admit that I've been thinking about my diet and exercise slackness for... well, let's just say a lonnnnnnnng time now.  

After all, if my friend L., a mother of three (including twin boys) all under the age of 5, can take care of her brood, run marathons (literally!) and run her own business at the same time, I can surely get on a diet and exercise plan that works while doing my work projects and taking care of only one active toddler.

So, wish me luck, folks.  I'm off to calculate my WW points and plan some low cal meals for the week ahead.  Stay tuned...


CDB said...

Mortified. And I haven't felt this much "shock and awe" since Rumsfeld talked about duct tape and saran wrap.

But I'll tell you one thing.. I am right there with ya, sister! Anytime you need some jogger-strolling motivation, I'm your girl. Shorts weather is a-coming.. and, with my Thin Mints problem, I have some work to do!

Steel Magnolia said...

Gee thanks B!! YOU CAN do it. My computer crashed, so I am on Dan's laptop right now. I am so proud of you...a picture is exactly what did it for me also. I'll keep checking in...Good luck!!!

julie said...

I think 30 minutes of jogging "5 times a day" ought to get you in shape really quickly :)
In the 8 months that my life has been in transit (i.e. between permanent domiciles), my body has completely gone to hell. My wakeup call? My hubby's oh-so-lovely post-coital comment: "so, I crunched the numbers with the new mortgage and I think we can afford to get you back to the gym, honey." Hey, at least he's honest!

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Arlington, VA, United States
Maestro and mom to a wee virtuoso

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